Dear Jenny

Dear Jenny,

I'm confused. Very, very confused. I have this friend. She's my best friend matter of fact and I will call her Bugs. So Bugs always yells at me becuse I think I'm fat and ugly. Actually I don't think I'm so ugly. Just fat. And you're suppose to feel good about yourself. And I said that I'll try. I am trying. Very hard in fact. I getting over it and starting to feel great about myself and accept me for who I am. Who I was ment to be. So anyways whenever we're in a fight she always accuses me of not trying when I am. I tell her this and she says she felt bad about accusing me. 

We get into little fights all the time and I know I'm at fault a lot. She says I make her feel like crap. Like she's crap or something. I don't think I do, but at the same time I don't know. Then she went on on how she has no friends and everyone like me better. Her example was when I yell out to the class at random times "Billy Sue Jane needs a pencil" in third person and people give me a pencil or whatever and that if I'm sitting there depressed than someone will be like "what's the matter" she says that people don't do that stuff for her and I really don't pay attention to that stuff. 

Also she thinks I'm prettier than her. I don't think i am but she does and so does Brittany our friend and fellow band member. She always talks about how pretty people are. I think Bugs if pretty though.  Basically she thinks I have a better life and I just don't know. What to do that is. So if you could tell me or give advise than I would be so greatful.

I remain, 
Billy Sue Jane
  • Current Music
    heres to the night by Eve

advice pls jenny

My drinking is uncontrollable and I can't function without it. I'm in a terrible mood right now and it is an easy release. No one is able to identify with my problem and yet it is not unique. I'm losing and risking too much for it to prolong. I need to take care of it. I usually spin everything and make myself the victim, but when you alienate everyone else and become the tragic story among all your friends, it gets progressively harder to do. You watch these bad saturday night special movies about a good kid turning wrong and you never think of yourself in that role. A simple indulgence followed by spinning out of control and the climactic downfall seems destined for some other loser, but never you. However, when you live the cliche it's tough to ignore. My usual philosophy is to live a bacchanalian life: if it's enjoyable do it. Negative thoughts and shameful experiences can be either rationalized or buried. But if I have any hope of kicking this thing, I got to face my demons.

Well if not all my demons at least the ones associated with drinking. These days I'm unhappy. I'm stuck in a job I don't like,with the promise of an uncertain future. Relationships are non existant and friendships are declining. I drink almost always in a social atmosphere. Even if I'm alone, being at a bar is like being with kindred spirits. It's a facsimile of being part of something, a society if you will. At the same time, people leave you alone so it feeds my need for solitude. Going to a bar is like going to church for others, it's my form of worship. Their I can mull over the events of the day/week and pay pennance with each drink.

Never underestimate the significance of self pity. People feed on it as much as any other nourishment. What better place to indulge in it than at a bar? You sit down at your lonely bar stool, with people who don't care about you, and you listen to the sad juke box in that dim dim bar. You stare at the dilapidated wall hangings, the broken lamps, the sad wood carving of a fish and it's like a mirror of how you feel. I long for bars because this drab setting is easier for me to connect with than my friends. What they don't understand is problems are not talked about, they should be pondered in the mind and drank down like the sour whiskey and thereby quenched.

so jenny, what should i do?

(no subject)

i have this friend i've wanted to get w/ for a while, i attempted to get with her last semester, no luck though. well, i've been hanging out with her, it SEEMS TO ME, that she would be willing to go out with me, i'm not sure what is going to happen though. i suck at giving details... blah


Okay, I really like this guy. I noticed that I starting liking him on November 5th 2004(The night at the Punx Unite Tour:The Casualties, and Lower Class Brats) I didn't tell anybody that I liked him. And about a month later my friend Mitch IMed me and said, "Hey Ryan likes you, you should ask him out."(Ryan is Matts younger brother, the guy I like is Matt) And I said, "No, I only like him as a friend" Mitch said, "No you don't" and he kept saying stuff like that, then he said, "No, but seriously Matt likes you. do you like him?" I said, "Only as a friend" I said that because, I thought Mitch was lying and I didn't want anybody to know I like Matt. The next day at school, I kept asking Mitch if Matt really did like me, and he kept telling me yes. So, I really thought Matt did like me. SO i was going to wait for him to ask me out. About a week or 2 later, Mitch Ryan and my friend Troy and Tawny all came up to me and said that Matt has a girlfriend. I was so upset. The next few days, I found out That Mitch and Ryan lyed to me, Tawny and Troy. So, that made me even more upset. So, I had Tawny ask Matt out for me during her lunch, since I don't see him that often. She asked him and he said, "when she gets the courage to ask me herself" So, after 6th hour I asked him, he said, "no" I walked away from him crying. I really thought he was going to say yes, and I was so confident. Then from there we got to be a bit of better friends....A few days before New Years eve, Matt IMed me and said the girl he was seeing, Nicole, lost intrest in him. I felt really bad for him but I was kinda glad because maybe I have a chance with him now. But I did feel really really bad. He loved her alot. On new years he came and picked me up and we went to his house and we did some sexual things, no removel of clothes or anything...we had an orgy together, hah. And I thought maybe he does like me. I had a bruise on my neck from him, it was not a hickey. and everyone in school thought it was, and assumed that it was and I said it wasn't and they'd ask, "then what is it" and I wouldn't tell them, so they wouldn't believe me and then Matt found about all this and he got really mad. But, everything is fine now.

I have never liked somebody as much as I like Matt. It's so crazy! It is such an extremely strong like, that I have for him. Sometimes, alot, I can't sleep because, I am thinking about him. He is always on my mind. I can't get him out of my head. He makes me so happy, everytime I see him I feel so good and happy. I love going to school now, just so I can see him. Every day I wake up and he is the first thing that I think about. Usually when I ask guys out or if the guy finds out I like him, I feel so weird, awkward and so strange and I don't talk to them anymore. Well, it's differnet with Matt, when I asked him out and when he found out I liked him , I didn't feel one bit awkward or anything. It's so weird. This has never happened to me before, and he's diffent. Most guys are assholes, and I swear he could never be mean to me or anything. He is the most sweetest guy I have ever liked. I really want to tell him how I feel about him but, he is still in love with that Nicole girl...I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell him, when to tell him or how to tell him or anything. And everday it gets worse.

Please help me!
  • Current Music
    The Clash-Should I Stay Or Should I Go?


my name is sam, I'm 17 in 4 days and I live in ny. =D is my problem.
I like this guy on my track team...and we h/u a few weeks ago. But lately at practice he ignores me and hangs out with this other girl at track,I know she likes him because she told me. It sucks. Anyway I asked him about it and he said he really didn't like her,but to me it seems like he likes her but he doesn't want to admit it. I don't know if I should move on or not. actually I know I should I just dont know how. he always wants to h/u with me and flirt with me when nobody is around its not fair.
anyway it would be awsome if you could help me out <3
  • Current Mood
    worried worried

(no subject)

Hey everyone
My baby is home... got a question thou. if u n ur bf lived 2 hours away.. and u were gunna send him a package of a cute card, and a 4 page not n a new pic from skool wat personal items would u send.. like mayb a lip gloss or a bracelet or sumthin? please help l0l

x0x0 r0byn

*cross posted in my journal, and Iheartmybf