Okay, I really like this guy. I noticed that I starting liking him on November 5th 2004(The night at the Punx Unite Tour:The Casualties, and Lower Class Brats) I didn't tell anybody that I liked him. And about a month later my friend Mitch IMed me and said, "Hey Ryan likes you, you should ask him out."(Ryan is Matts younger brother, the guy I like is Matt) And I said, "No, I only like him as a friend" Mitch said, "No you don't" and he kept saying stuff like that, then he said, "No, but seriously Matt likes you. do you like him?" I said, "Only as a friend" I said that because, I thought Mitch was lying and I didn't want anybody to know I like Matt. The next day at school, I kept asking Mitch if Matt really did like me, and he kept telling me yes. So, I really thought Matt did like me. SO i was going to wait for him to ask me out. About a week or 2 later, Mitch Ryan and my friend Troy and Tawny all came up to me and said that Matt has a girlfriend. I was so upset. The next few days, I found out That Mitch and Ryan lyed to me, Tawny and Troy. So, that made me even more upset. So, I had Tawny ask Matt out for me during her lunch, since I don't see him that often. She asked him and he said, "when she gets the courage to ask me herself" So, after 6th hour I asked him, he said, "no" I walked away from him crying. I really thought he was going to say yes, and I was so confident. Then from there we got to be a bit of better friends....A few days before New Years eve, Matt IMed me and said the girl he was seeing, Nicole, lost intrest in him. I felt really bad for him but I was kinda glad because maybe I have a chance with him now. But I did feel really really bad. He loved her alot. On new years he came and picked me up and we went to his house and we did some sexual things, no removel of clothes or anything...we had an orgy together, hah. And I thought maybe he does like me. I had a bruise on my neck from him, it was not a hickey. and everyone in school thought it was, and assumed that it was and I said it wasn't and they'd ask, "then what is it" and I wouldn't tell them, so they wouldn't believe me and then Matt found about all this and he got really mad. But, everything is fine now.
I have never liked somebody as much as I like Matt. It's so crazy! It is such an extremely strong like, that I have for him. Sometimes, alot, I can't sleep because, I am thinking about him. He is always on my mind. I can't get him out of my head. He makes me so happy, everytime I see him I feel so good and happy. I love going to school now, just so I can see him. Every day I wake up and he is the first thing that I think about. Usually when I ask guys out or if the guy finds out I like him, I feel so weird, awkward and so strange and I don't talk to them anymore. Well, it's differnet with Matt, when I asked him out and when he found out I liked him , I didn't feel one bit awkward or anything. It's so weird. This has never happened to me before, and he's diffent. Most guys are assholes, and I swear he could never be mean to me or anything. He is the most sweetest guy I have ever liked. I really want to tell him how I feel about him but, he is still in love with that Nicole girl...I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell him, when to tell him or how to tell him or anything. And everday it gets worse.